Monday, January 31, 2011

"Schadenfreude" - A Bully's Satisfaction. By ABC

Have you ever noticed a little smile sweep across your bully's face, just at the moment when you couldn't feel more infuriated? Well if you have, you are right. Real Bullies, by that I mean bullies who have a level of psychopathy, also referred to as sociopathy...

"gain satisfaction through antisocial behavior", characterized by an abnormal lack of empathy combined with strongly amoral conduct but masked by an ability to appear outwardly normal" -
-quoted from Wikipedia at this link:

Although this resource uses the word "satisfaction" to describe what "a psychopath gains through their antisocial behavior", it is an entirely different kind of "satisfaction" than defined, and than most of us experience. A "bully's satisfaction" is a perverse form of satisfaction, being malicious in nature, rather than joyful or positive, as defined in English dictionaries.

There is actually no English word which links personal "satisfaction" together with another person's misfortune or harm. The word does not exist to most of us, being incapable of thinking in those terms, and unwilling to believe in a world where there are a few, who do. Some languages acknowledge those few, having words for them, like the German word;

satisfaction or pleasure felt at someone else's misfortune. Unabridged
Based on the Random House Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2011.
— n
delight in another's misfortune
[German: from Schaden harm + Freude joy]
Collins English Dictionary - Complete & Unabridged 10th Edition
2009 © William Collins Sons & Co. Ltd. 1979, 1986 © HarperCollins
Publishers 1998, 2000, 2003, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2009

"What a fearful thing is it that any language should have a word expressive of the pleasure which men feel at the calamities of others; for the existence of the word bears testimony to the existence of the thing. And yet in more than one such a word is found. ... In the Greek epikhairekakia, in the German, 'Schadenfreude.' "
-quoted by Richard C. Trench, "On the Study of Words," 1852

So there it is! "Such a thing exists", two languages having words, thereby "bearing testimony to the existence of the thing", namely, "a bully's satisfaction", words of my own, for lack of a more fitting, existing English word.

German police tormenting Jew
"Schadenfreude" - A bully's satisfaction - Remember the meaning well, if not the word(s), because the meaning does exists, even where the word(s) does not, in the memory of many, who have witnessed it.  Only some cultures, witnessing it enough times, to name it.

I wonder if the German's came up with this word before or after the Holocaust?

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Adult Bullying in the Wake of The Tucson Shootings. By ABC

Sarah Palin - NOT the bully!
In the wake of the Tucson shootings, "adult bullying" in the United States has finally come forward as a recognizable topic in the media.  Although greatly misunderstood, and called by many other names, the issue of "adult bullying" is now a hot topic of public interest, with multimedia coverage and information sweeping across the nation daily.

President Obama has called for "Civility" in "political rhetoric".  All sides are standing-down, putting their political agendas on hold, while the bullying behaviors of the political machine, continues to spin unabated and unrecognized as "bullying tactics".  All the while, an entire nation of bystanders, watching, but not really seeing, that those hoping to gain, by pointing the finger of blame, are at the very core, of all that is wrong, when adults bully other adults.

"Adult bullying" is primarily about perception.  The "adult bully", by this I mean a person with a level of "psychopathy", is centered on how they are perceived and compared to, by others. Using tactics such as blame, twisted or half truths, innuendo, gossip and lies, they are expert manipulators of people's perception, capable of throwing an adversary's character into doubt, while elevating their own political, social, or professional standing.

Firmly rooted in reality, able to reason, cope and distinguish the difference between right and wrong,  adult bullies, while having a level of psychopathy, mimic the normal behavior of others, and are not considered mentally ill in the usual sense of the word. These "successful psychopaths" have the appearance of emotional health, while having a diminished or absent ability to experience caring feelings for other people, instead, experiencing a type of satisfaction, with the misfortunes of others.  Our social denial, that people with such serious hidden flaws, really exists, and are a real threat in our day to day lives, adds to the prevalence and success of adult bullies, to do harm everywhere.

Can you spot the adult bully(ies), I mean the REAL bully(ies), with a level of psychopathy in this controversy? Here's a hint; It's not Sarah Palin.

Learn to Recognize it, Name it and End Adult Bullying and Mobbing Together!

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Hatefulness Without Prejudice. Adult Bullying. By ABC.

I am in my 50s and have never been affected by prejudice as a child or as an adult where I live in the state of Connecticut.  I have not been spared from hatefulness however and have learned about one of the most painful types of hatefulness there is.  It is hatefulness without prejudice, a hatefulness for no reason at all, referred to as "bullying". Children deal with school yard bullies who steal their lunch money and push them in the mud while adults are faced with a more serious version.  I first experienced bullying on my job, a job that I loved and thrived in for over 25 years, finally forced out by a "serial bully boss" after 30 years.   Adults can be bullied by just about anyone, sometimes people they least expect, like a new neighbor or a new pastor at their church. The most likely places to find workplace bullying is in education, health care and in any of the "helping professions".

By "bully", I don't mean just the arrogant and the rude, but those with a level of psychopathy, having physical or emotional mental disorders which compels them to behave in this way. Bullies are thought to feel a type of satisfaction, and enjoy causing others emotional distress.  They actually plan emotional assaults against their targets.  Many bullies are incapable of feeling empathy or suffer from feelings of inadequacy and shame brought on by harsh early childhood experiences. The best performers may be targeted for this reason.  Bullies cannot be reasoned with because there is no real reason for the abuse other than the bullies whim or need to subjugate, control or even eliminate from a group, or cause others to shun the target.

Targets of  bullying are rarely believed and are faced with denial at every turn because hatefulness for no reason, just doesn't make sense. This type of hatefulness leaves no physical scars, only the emotional distress of a target who becomes obsessed searching for the reasons why suddenly someone they trusted, would turn against them and manipulate others against them as well. Family, friends and bystanders become more skeptical by the targets emotional distress, while the reasons that targets obsessively search for, simply don't exist. 

I was brought up to be proud to be an American and was taught that our country of the equal and the free, is a place where any child can dream of, and actually become president some day.  Being a girl, I knew this was not true.  Prejudice, although never mentioned, made this dream a lie to all but white, Christian, boys.  The outcome of the last presidential election, has made this dream real, for both black children and girls of both races. This is a positive sign that prejudice, a terrible type of hatefulness, is losing against the increasingly popular consensus that all people are created equal.  Can we beat hatefulness without prejudice or reason?  It's my belief that we can.